~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~My Supports~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My daily supports include my husband, my two daughters and two of my closest friends. My husband and I have been together for twenty-four years and have lived a lot of life together filled with hills and valleys. Through it all we have set goals together, achieved them most of the time and supported each other with our joint and individual goals. He has been my biggest cheerleader as far as continuing my education goes. He helps me with practical things, such as computer issues I might encounter; but even greater than that he helps to keep my motivation high, helps me through difficult academic trials and is instrumental on helping me to keep my eyes on the end goal. He does all this while going to nursing school full time and running his software company full time as well. As time permits he provides other practical supports I need such as grocery shopping, cleaning the house and shuttling children. He is truly a team player and a great person to have as a cheerleader.

My supports that come from my daughters are that they keep me grounded. They keep me from being too caught up in school or my job by constantly reminding me how fleeting life is. They help me to keep life in perspective and are instrumental in me keeping my priorities straight. They provide a lot of laughter and levity in our home as well.

My two closest friends are my mirrors and I see myself most clearly reflected in my friendships with them. They are a great moral booster and where I go to when I need to decompress and laugh until my belly aches. One of them lives in another state, but we still remain close and both of these women are truly pillars in my life. They love me and choose me to be their friend and that unconditional acceptance is very important to me.

The challenge I chose to imagine is not being able to walk after knee surgery. This might be a reality for me and I will know within about a week after I see the orthopedic doctor. I had a serious injury at work about three months ago and the resolution to part of the healing may require surgery. For awhile after surgery I would be totally dependant on other people for simple things such as meals and even getting to the bathroom. The support I would need is someone to help me with mobility issues for a few days and I am certain that would come from my husband and my daughters. I would need someone to cook, clean and take care of the cats. Again, my family, and probably my sister would step in to help with that. I would need the support of my instructor at school so I could have an extension for assignment due dates the week of my surgery. I would benefit from the support of my friends to keep me laughing and my spirits up. These supports would be very important for my healing process so I didn’t have to worry about the practical aspects of daily living and not get bored out of my mind. In a perfect world that would happen. However, I went through cancer treatment ten years ago, and many of these supports, which I hoped I could rely on, disappeared. One of my closest friends did not rise to the occasion. That was emotionally devastating for me, almost as much as the actual cancer diagnosis itself. It took years and years for that relationship to mend, mostly because that friend withdrew out of guilt. I think emotional supports are just as necessary as physical supports when going through something like this.