Saturday, February 11, 2012

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~My Supports~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My daily supports include my husband, my two daughters and two of my closest friends. My husband and I have been together for twenty-four years and have lived a lot of life together filled with hills and valleys. Through it all we have set goals together, achieved them most of the time and supported each other with our joint and individual goals. He has been my biggest cheerleader as far as continuing my education goes. He helps me with practical things, such as computer issues I might encounter; but even greater than that he helps to keep my motivation high, helps me through difficult academic trials and is instrumental on helping me to keep my eyes on the end goal. He does all this while going to nursing school full time and running his software company full time as well. As time permits he provides other practical supports I need such as grocery shopping, cleaning the house and shuttling children. He is truly a team player and a great person to have as a cheerleader.

My supports that come from my daughters are that they keep me grounded. They keep me from being too caught up in school or my job by constantly reminding me how fleeting life is. They help me to keep life in perspective and are instrumental in me keeping my priorities straight. They provide a lot of laughter and levity in our home as well.

My two closest friends are my mirrors and I see myself most clearly reflected in my friendships with them. They are a great moral booster and where I go to when I need to decompress and laugh until my belly aches. One of them lives in another state, but we still remain close and both of these women are truly pillars in my life. They love me and choose me to be their friend and that unconditional acceptance is very important to me.

The challenge I chose to imagine is not being able to walk after knee surgery. This might be a reality for me and I will know within about a week after I see the orthopedic doctor. I had a serious injury at work about three months ago and the resolution to part of the healing may require surgery. For awhile after surgery I would be totally dependant on other people for simple things such as meals and even getting to the bathroom. The support I would need is someone to help me with mobility issues for a few days and I am certain that would come from my husband and my daughters. I would need someone to cook, clean and take care of the cats. Again, my family, and probably my sister would step in to help with that. I would need the support of my instructor at school so I could have an extension for assignment due dates the week of my surgery. I would benefit from the support of my friends to keep me laughing and my spirits up. These supports would be very important for my healing process so I didn’t have to worry about the practical aspects of daily living and not get bored out of my mind. In a perfect world that would happen. However, I went through cancer treatment ten years ago, and many of these supports, which I hoped I could rely on, disappeared. One of my closest friends did not rise to the occasion. That was emotionally devastating for me, almost as much as the actual cancer diagnosis itself. It took years and years for that relationship to mend, mostly because that friend withdrew out of guilt. I think emotional supports are just as necessary as physical supports when going through something like this.

Friday, January 27, 2012

~~~~~My Connections to Play~~~~~~




I'd like to share a couple of quotes that resonated with me as a child about play.

"The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct."

Carl Jung
Swiss psychoanalyst
1875–1961

"Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child."

Joan Almon
Contemporary American educator

My mother supported me in play by buying me toys that I was interested it. I loved the Barbie doll collection and had many dolls from the Barbie family. I would play for hours with my Barbies, sometimes alone, and sometimes with neighborhood friends. My mother would also bribe me to get my hair cut by buying me a new Barbie doll. She always wanted my hair very short, cut like a boy would wear it. I wanted it long, but I also loved getting new Barbie dolls. As a result, I had very short hair until the age of about ten. My sister was instrumental in me acquiring a love for reading and she bought me many books and she took the time to read to me. She is a generation older than me and I would spend the weekends at her apartment with her sometimes, and I have memories of us reading together. My father put a swing set in our back yard as well as a small children's swimming pool, so he was instrumental in me getting some physical activity.

Play has changed from when I was a child compared to how it is for my children. I even see a difference between my children since there is eleven years age difference. When I was young we didn't have all the electronics to entice us that children have today. We had a black and white television and a rotary phone. We never talked on the phone for pleasure; only out of necessity. My friends and I played dolls, colored in coloring books, played jump rope and ball. We went to the neighbor's house and asked if we could pick their dandilions for one cent each, thus ridding their yard of the menace and making money at the same time. We rode trikes and bikes and played with hoola hoops. My oldest daughter, who is now twenty-six, played outside at the park a lot and took a variety of formal lessons in various sports and arts. Pogs, books and Disney movies were a big part of her growing up. In her teenage years a computer and the family phone were two of her best friends. My younger daughter is fourteen and a lot of time is dedicated to academics for her to help keep her at grade level. As a young teen she likes to hang with her friends at the mall, play on her phone and the computer. Television is an addiction that we have to monitor. She has had several different types of lessons, but none of them have captured her interest yet. Neither of my girls liked dolls and I had to mourn that a bit because I so looked forward to playing dolls with my daughters!

My hope for children regarding play these days is for there to be more physical activity than so many children get on a regular basis. Also, less structure and  fewer formal lessons so there is time for more open ended, creative play. I think to live a healthy, well rounded life, play has to be an important part of it for children as well as adults. It is vital that people take time to play and get away from the daily grind. It helps keep a person both physically and mentally healthier and allows for creativity and flow.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Relationship Reflection


Relationships and partnerships are important to me because the people I have the closest relationships with are my “mirror”. They reflect me back to me! They love me unconditionally and allow me to learn to love them unconditionally as well. My close relationships sharpen me, challenge me, tell me to keep plugging along or when to let go of something I have been dealing with. They give meaning to my life and challenge me to be a better person. The people that are the most important in my life are my husband, Dan; my two daughters, Brianne and Tessa; my sister, Barb, and my three dear friends, Suzanne, Deb and Sue. The positive aspect of my relationships with my two daughters and my sister is that they are family and they are always there for me when I need them. I am there for them as well and we all count on each other for various types of support. My marriage to Dan is positive in that we are both going the same direction in life. This is an aspect of our relationship that we have shared for the last twenty-five years. We both have goals individually and as a couple. We each support each other in those goals and encourage each other when the chips are down. Some of the time what has helped us maintain our relationship is the sheer longevity and shared history we have. Other time’s it’s that our relationship is strong and growing. Sometimes it’s somewhere in between. We lean on each other, in a healthy way, and we are there for each other when it counts.

My relationships with my female friends is a positive driving force in my life because when I am with one of them I am with someone who understands what it’s like to be a woman with massive responsibilities and that sometimes our dreams get buried under those responsibilities. When I am with them I can be silly and dissolve into delightful laughter that is hysterical to us and it leads to a good belly laugh relieves a lot of life’s stress. When I am with them I can share my concerns and be a shoulder to them when they have concerns of their own. The factors that contributed to developing and maintaining these relationships is a desire by me and by them to have closely bonded female friendships so that we may enjoy the benefits listed above.

A challenge that I have had in developing and maintaining these relationships is that it can be hard to schedule times to get together with my friends due to their schedules or the physical distance between us. One of my closest friends, Suzanne lives a day’s drive away from me. The challenge with maintaining relationships with family and my spouse is probably the same thing that makes it wonderful…familiarity. I am so familiar with them that I let my hair down with them and am not always on my best behavior! They see me at my worst, which I try not to let happen too often, but it does now and then.

I see my marriage as a partnership; one of the very best kinds of partnerships. I love this person and we are both invested in each other and both stand to gain if things go well and lose if they go poorly. We are on the same “team”!

I believe that my experience with relationships and partnerships will make me a knowledgeable and empathetic early childhood professional. Hopefully I can benefit from the victories and the mistakes I have made in my personal relationships and that in turn will make me a better early childhood professional.