The Wonderful Forms of Birth!

I have two birthing experiences that I would like to relay to all of you. The first one, who I call "daughter of my body" is Brianne, age 25. The second one, who I lovingly will refer to is "daughter of my heart", is Tessa, age 14. Both are my daughters, both I love equally and dearly. Both were very difficult birth experiences in totally different ways.

I became pregnant with Brianne when I was twenty six years old. I had planned this pregnancy for a couple of years and was delighted to learn I would have a baby. Within the first two months of pregnancy I became very ill due to asthma and at that time smoking in the work place was a common occurrence. This made my asthma even worse. Ironically, I worked for a health insurance company and over 30 people in my office smoked at their desks. I was entrenched in a grey haze. My asthma doctor and ob doctor assured me the baby was getting enough oxygen in spite the cigarette smoke. However, I wasn't getting enough. Instead of providing a smoke free place for me to work, my employer chose to disable me for the duration of the pregnancy. The subsequent few months were better, I enjoyed being home and anticipating the arrival of what I HOPED would be a baby girl. However, all along I had to take several medications to keep my asthma under control. By the last trimester my breathing problems went from being very uncomfortable to very serious. I was monitored constantly. I was on five medications just to breathe, having to set my alarm for waking up every three hours in the night to take medication. I was sent to a genetics doctor which was rare for the mid 80's. He told me all of the medications I was taking were safe for the baby except they could not tell if one of them was or not. However, I needed it, so they kept me on it. There was an unanswered question...would this medication affect my child? Finally my breathing got so severe, that at 36 weeks of gestation they attempted to perform an amniocentesis to see if my baby's lungs were developed enough for delivery. She was fine, but I was in distress. However, all the fluid was behind her body, so they didn't feel comfortable with using the needle, thus the test wouldn't work for me. Instead they gave me large doses of prednisone via IV every few days. It helped my oxygen starved body and would help mature her lungs they said. Back in the 80's they considered full term 40 weeks of gestation so they were concerned about delivering a 36 week fetus. Finally at 36 weeks and 5 days they delivered my daughter via a planned c-section. My pelvis was too small for the normal birthing method and labor would have made my breathing worse. I had an epidural for anesthesia, which only worked on the right side. As a result I had about ten local injections into my left side to get it numb. However, I still felt a lot of sensation in that side, such as tugging during cutting the incision, etc. Finally once she was born, they gave me twilight sedation which sent me in and out of la la land. I kept asking "what did I have?"...hoping it was a girl. It was a girl!!!!!!! My dream come true. I was in the hospital for four and a half days with Brianne, on morphine two of those days and so out of it I really wasn't concerned about the fact that I had a newborn. After just two days of being on morphine I had severe withdrawals which made me miss an entire half day of being a mom while I tried to fight the very uncomfortable sensations. Finally on Christmas Eve morning I brought my new daughter home. She was healthy, I was healthy, and I could breathe without the aid of any medications.

Daughter of my heart, Tessa, came to me via a very long and difficult East India adoption. I did not give physical birth to her, but I went though birthing pains that equal those of women who go through labor. Foreign adoption is not for the faint of heart from countries who would rather not see their children going to a "Christian" country. We lost one of our adopted children, who died of an illness, while trying to come to the USA. She would have been fifteen this week. We named her Jennika. Whereas we do not know Tessa's exact birth experience, and if we did I would want to talk in generalities here for the sake of her privacy. What I can say is that the birth process in India is very different depending on whether the family is rich or poor. If they are a family of means they might have the baby in a hospital setting that is very sterile and the mother is confined to bed from the very beginning of labor and command pushing is the norm. If a baby is delivered at home they might have a traditional birth attendant and men would be excluded from birth. Women could experience a period of confinement after the birth. Also, many rituals surrounding the birth of the child very likely would take place. Many times if a female was born there would be disappointment within the family. Some of the time these female children would end up in orphanages because they were female, and other times because the family couldn't feed one more child. The newborn might be dropped off in the dark of night or might be brought in by the police.