Due to the dynamics of my family of origin, I don't feel that I had five people in my life that cared about me and took care of me as a child. Only one comes to mind, and that is my half sister, who is a generation older than me. My parents were two generations older than me and not involved in my life. Additionally I dealt with abandonment when I was nine years old. I have moved on from that as much as possible and tried to turn the bad into good by giving back to children in the form of teaching and through adopting my daughter from India
The one person who did care about me is my half-sister, Barb. She is 21 years older than me, and though we never lived in the same house, we did things together a couple of times a month. I would stay over at her house on weekend nights now and then and she would fix my hair and paint my nails. We would eat yummy, child friendly food, the types of treats I don’t remember having at home. Throughout my teenage years she began talking to me about how getting a good education was important and continued to through my college years. I was proud and happy to see her at my graduation last June. At 72 years of age, she is still supporting me in my education. Though she has always been good to me, I would not classify our relationship as close. She is a very private, closed off type of person that has trouble exposing her real self to anyone else.
Here’s a picture of my sister, Barb, and I at my graduation from Portland State University
Shay,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughtful comment on my personal childhood web! It is always interesting to read about others and their childhood, and I certainly gained lots of interest while reading yours. I think that it is wonderful that you were able to take something positive from your past, I'm sure your children are very grateful for you! I also think that it is great the you went to school and that your half sister Barb was able to see your graduation. I think that our society under estimates the importance and solidification that comes with completing a degree. I always tell the kids I work with "anyone can go to college, not everyone will finish. And it doesn't matter when you finish, it just matters that you finish".
Shay-
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, I just want to thank you for sharing such an intimate story about your past! I know that it is not easy being open about our personal life, but you did so in a very touching way! I don't know how to commend you because a part of me wants to say "wow," but another part of me wants to give you a hug. You are a great example for children who come from a rocky home. Most people go through life and never experience what you have experienced,and look at what you have become. You are teaching children, and affecting them in a positive way. You adopted your daughter from India, and YOU have just changed a little girl's life forever!!! Enough said. I think it is wonderful that your half-sister, Barb, supported you! I also think it's wonderful that she encouraged you to study! I want to share a quote by Martin Luther King Jr with you because I think that it may apply to who you are and what you have become. "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." You have managed to move on from your past, and have accomplished so much because you did not "become silent." :)
Ms Shay,
ReplyDeleteI was touched by your childhood post and statement,” no teachers stood out either.” I’m going to be honest my first thought was what a shame. Not speaking towards you but many a time teachers just teach without showing an ounce of care. I was in shock that experiences like this happen to children. And to know throughout grade school there was not one teacher that influenced you positively it’s sort of disturbing because I know some children out in this world maybe experiencing the same situation. In a perfect world children are nurtured and loved always. I appreciate you opening my eyes in this way. I am happy to know that your half-sister is a part of your life and there is someone there with you to share your joy. That is important. I feel she is your support system even though you say you are not that close to her. I understand it is a different relationship. I am amazed at all of your accomplishments. You must have a drive, motivation or determination that you are going to make a difference in children’s lives. Thank you for making that decision.
Ms. Jay
Ms Shay,
ReplyDeletei understand how you feel about teachers from you childhood they did't stand out. Bu we as teacher plan every day to affect a child life so we will stand out
You could be a motivational speaker in the sense of you made it! Many people do not know that they can go through so many situations when they are younger and grow up and accomplish what they set their hearts and minds to. You are an inspiration. When I started reading your post at first I said oh my and the ache that I have towards children that I cross now in the same situation came but as a I read I saw you as a couragous person and you will one day (if not already) be someone's hero. You are one because inspite of having a rocky start you adopted a child and is showing her love. You could have allowed your past to ruin your future. I'm proud of you.
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